A lot of our supporters have asked why babies are abandoned in Uganda. I know where they have been abandoned– pit latrines, bus parks, hospitals -but I have never spoken to a mother before and asked the reasons why they are driven to abandon their children in the first place.
Today we had the pleasure of meeting some incredible mothers who will do anything to keep their children but here life is a struggle. In Uganda there is no safety net or welfare state. If you can’t afford to eat you and your children starve. As a mother, when you are faced with abandoning your child for your child to live or keeping your beloved child and watching them die what decision do you make?
We all sat round in a circle and we felt honoured that they opened up to us and told us their heartbreaking stories. What stuck me was their vulnerability. There was a reoccurring story of men promising love and financial security and then ‘disappearing’ when they get pregnant leaving them with no money, no support and a young baby to feed and clothe.
There were many reasons why: the civil war in Northern Uganda, HIV/AIDS, men deceiving them and then ‘disappearing; children being born with disabilities and being seen as an evil omen, family rejecting them for having children our of wedlock or defilement. All of these factors lead to these vulnerable young women being faced with a decision no woman should ever have to make and I have utmost respect for them for keeping their babies against all the odds.
We asked them if they knew any mothers who had abandoned their children and I was not prepared for the answer. One mother had killed their newborn baby by throwing them down a pit latrine and another mother had repeatedly banged their tiny baby’s head against the bed. Two hundred babies are found and bought to homes but what about the babies who are killed or never found?
In our phasing we put tackling the root cause of abandonment in phase 5 but I think this is too late. These women need our help now and if we can help them maybe we could save babies from being abandoned or killed in the first place?
Tomorrow we are meeting Home Start International, an amazing organization which Brian helped set up which provides support for these mothers and I would like to investigate working in partnership with them to provide this service so as well as caring for babies in our home we are also working hard on prevention as well as rehabilitation.
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April 19, 2009 at 6:41 pm
monika
very nice lucy.
very insightful.
heartwrenching.
it has to be tough to be there – see the pain in their eyes. you can tell they are wanting so much to keep their children – and yet wondering if they can carry on.
i’m reading the blue sweater by jacqueline novogratz. i’m wondering if you know of her. i’m wondering if what she has been doing for the women of africa could be successful where you are as well.
April 21, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Lucy Buck
Hi Monika
Anne McCrossan recommended I read the book by Jacqueline Novogratz – apparently it is a must-read for anyone working in Africa and will be top of my reading list when I get back..in between writing my business plan!
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