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It was really funny for me to read Brian’s blog yesterday – I hadn’t realised he’d hoped I’d “go away” when we first met! As you can imagine, I was (very!) persistent, though, and it’s wonderful to know that he’s gone from being our biggest critic to one of our greatest supporters over the past six months.
CiF Team
Building a ‘Home’ isn’t in line with today’s modern thinking on social or child welfare, but as I’ve said on numerous occasions, we are not building an orphanage – ours will be a place of safety and care that ultimately aims to place children back into families. I think it has really helped that Brian is out here now, witnessing first-hand the need for the Foundation. After 4 years of me talking (and talking, and talking) about it, he – and all our supporters – can really see for themselves just how much we can do to create change here.
Meanwhile, our plan is really beginning to take shape and I’m so excited that, as well as building a centre that will provide the best possible care and set up a social work department to find families for every one of our children, we are now also committing to tackle the root cause of abandonment. We’ll be working with the mothers to try and support them, so they don’t feel that abandoning their baby is their only course of action.
Today, we visited Waakisa Ministries, who provide care for pregnant teenage girls. The project really gave me hope – they have set up in just two years, and we could see that it’s very well run and making such a huge difference. I think when you come across projects that truly work, it’s very good to learn from them, so I would really like to keep in touch with Damilie and her team to share our experiences – and get as much of their advice as we can!
Tomorrow is a big day for us, as we are visiting Mulago hospital. 64 babies are abandoned there every year and we hope to work with Mulago and Home Start International in the future – so wish us luck!
A lot of our supporters have asked why babies are abandoned in Uganda. I know where they have been abandoned– pit latrines, bus parks, hospitals -but I have never spoken to a mother before and asked the reasons why they are driven to abandon their children in the first place.
Today we had the pleasure of meeting some incredible mothers who will do anything to keep their children but here life is a struggle. In Uganda there is no safety net or welfare state. If you can’t afford to eat you and your children starve. As a mother, when you are faced with abandoning your child for your child to live or keeping your beloved child and watching them die what decision do you make?
Incredible meeting with mothers
We all sat round in a circle and we felt honoured that they opened up to us and told us their heartbreaking stories. What stuck me was their vulnerability. There was a reoccurring story of men promising love and financial security and then ‘disappearing’ when they get pregnant leaving them with no money, no support and a young baby to feed and clothe.
There were many reasons why: the civil war in Northern Uganda, HIV/AIDS, men deceiving them and then ‘disappearing; children being born with disabilities and being seen as an evil omen, family rejecting them for having children our of wedlock or defilement. All of these factors lead to these vulnerable young women being faced with a decision no woman should ever have to make and I have utmost respect for them for keeping their babies against all the odds.
A young mother and her newborn baby
We asked them if they knew any mothers who had abandoned their children and I was not prepared for the answer. One mother had killed their newborn baby by throwing them down a pit latrine and another mother had repeatedly banged their tiny baby’s head against the bed. Two hundred babies are found and bought to homes but what about the babies who are killed or never found?
In our phasing we put tackling the root cause of abandonment in phase 5 but I think this is too late. These women need our help now and if we can help them maybe we could save babies from being abandoned or killed in the first place?
Tomorrow we are meeting Home Start International, an amazing organization which Brian helped set up which provides support for these mothers and I would like to investigate working in partnership with them to provide this service so as well as caring for babies in our home we are also working hard on prevention as well as rehabilitation.
Show us your support and become a fan on Facebook – http://www.childsifoundation.org/go/facebook/planning
It’s day three, and today we donned our smartest clothes to see the British High Commissioner, Martin Shearman.
Meeting the British High Commissioner
In a really positive meeting, he congratulated us on what he described as our “culturally sensitive” approach of talking to the locals and people in the know about what we want to achieve in Uganda. A common problem here is organisations just transplanting western ideas, rather than listening to what the local people really need. And we would be making a mistake if we simply replicated another charity’s model – ultimately our aim is to set up a project that no one else is doing and is really going to make a difference to the lives of abandoned babies. I’m immensely proud of our team – we have achieved so much in a short space of time. My wingman, Brian, continues to ask exactly the right questions, and his contacts have managed to set up meetings with the great and the good here. His dedication and passion for this project never ceases to amaze me – I have utmost respect for his opinion, and we would not be where we are now without his invaluable advice. And our Saff has pulled off a miracle – after producing weekly video updates on Bebo’s The Gap Year she promised never to attempt to upload a video in Africa ever again (the slowness and unreliability of the connection make it one of the most time-consuming jobs ever) but now she is doing it every day! Last night was a real test of her patience – after waiting 3 hours to upload a video, she discovered it hadn’t worked and had to start all again. Ouch! But it’s up now, and we really hope you enjoy the videos. We feel they give a great insight into what we are trying to do, so all those hours Saff spends watching a timeline is worth it. We would love to know what you think of our videos and welcome any suggestions.
Counting down the minutes
Tomorrow we are giving ourselves a much-needed day off. Brian is a fishing fanatic and has been looking forward to a spot of angling on the Nile all week, while I can’t wait to spend some time with the kids at Sanyu. See you on Sunday, folks, and please do keep those questions coming.
Show us your support and become a fan on Facebook – http://www.childsifoundation.org/go/facebook/planning
Firstly, a huge thank you for all your love and support – we’ve had so many wonderful comments, particularly regarding our first day’s video on our Facebook page. If you saw it, you’ll know know one thing we found particularly hard was seeing all the babies at Sanyu orphanage reaching out their arms to us. We felt they wouldn’t be so desperate for our attention if they were loved in families.
Our Child Psychology expert Dr Elizabeth Kilbey has backed this view, explaining on our FB group:
Children with no secure attachments in early life are overwhelmingly needy – they are desperately seeking an emotional connection. But this need can’t come from quick cuddles from every new person they meet – it has to be delivered over a long period of time to allow them the chance to develop secure relationships.’
We’ve also been asked tons of question, all of which we hope to answer. Today, supporter Katy Muncer asked us how we are going to find families for our children. Well, we had a productive meeting this morning with Families For Children, an organisation pioneering a foster care scheme in Uganda. We were very keen to partner up with them and you can watch the meeting for yourself here:
Link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGEkdk72GPU
One of our major objectives is to find out why babies are abandoned in the first place, so this afternoon, we visited Mulago, Uganda’s busiest hospital – and a place where desperate mothers abandon more than 60 babies a year.
We met their top paediatrician, Dr Atai, and social worker Faith Karamager. Faith, who deals with the babies on a day-to-day basis, told us story after sad story about how they come to be abandoned here. Almost all of the mothers are living in dire poverty, but all too often other devastating factors, such as rape, incest and domestic violence, have influenced their heartbreaking decision.
Meeting at Mulago hospital
Many of these mothers, who are often very young themselves, have been thrown out by their families because of the stigma associated with their pregnancies. With no other viable option open to them, they are forced to abandon their precious newborns somewhere they pray they will be safe. It’s a tragic story – made all the more terrible by how commonplace it is.Although this remarkable hospital works hard to look after the often ill and premature babies, the time comes all too soon when the babies need to be placed in orphanages – but often there are no vacancies or any suitable homes.
Dr Atai and Faith were incredibly supportive of our plans to offer alternative options, and were especially interested in services that might help children move into either their own extended families, or foster and adoptive families.
The meeting provided first-hand, compelling evidence – direct form the people who deal with the problem every day – of the need for Child’s i Foundation and what we are trying to achieve. They have invited us back to Mulago next week to visit the wards, so you will be able to see for yourselves the desperate plight of mothers and babies.
Show us your support and become a fan on Facebook – http://www.childsifoundation.org/go/facebook/planning
Tomorrow we are leaving for Uganda for 21 days. I am as excited as I am nervous.
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Here is an overview of the first week of our trip:
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In 14 days time, we are going out to Uganda for 3 weeks to conduct a planning trip.
Our aim is to build a centre of excellence to provide life saving care to abandoned babies and return children to their own families or to foster or adoptive families. This trip is going to determine just how we are going to deliver our promise.
We are taking Brian Waller, our most capable social work adviser who is now working with us to develop our social care approach. He has worked in Uganda and has years of experience in working with families and young children.
21 days is not a lot of time especially as we need to find the answers to some fundamental questions including:
Why are babies being abandoned?
More to the point why do mothers abandon their babies? Is there anyway we could help prevent mothers abandoning their babies in the first place? Tackle the root cause of abandonment and work with mothers to prevent abandonment and ultimately be the people they turn to instead of abandoning their newborn baby in a derelict building?
William from the Sanyu Babies' Home
What?
We now need to decide exactly what extra services we are going to provide beyond the immediate care of newly abandoned babies. Should we, for example, design our centre to accommodate mothers too on a daily or residential basis? We need to talk to government, existing projects and, if possible, mothers themselves about our plans and see where the gaps in provisions are in childcare.
Where?
Location is key. Our project must be firmly based in a local community. It has to be genuinely supported by the local people and local agencies and feel “African” and not something transplanted from outside the continent. If we cannot achieve that ‘buy in” from the very beginning our project will never be sustainable.
How?
We want to find foster or adoptive homes for abandoned children but this is not so common an idea as it is here. It would be easier to look after them long term in an institution but we don’t believe being another orphan statistic is best for the child. Our challenge is to find existing and reliable charities who do this and family support work well and who could work in partnership with us.
And there’s more…
Every day we want to upload a daily video and blog to keep supporters updated on the progress of our project but we need to see if this works on a practical level. We are lucky enough to take out Saffron Jackson, Producer of The Gap Year who has travelled around Africa and is an expert at filming, shooting and uploading videos so if anyone can do it Saffron can but it will be an interesting exercise to see if the idea in theory works in reality. We’ll find out soon enough…
What you can do…
We need your input as this is your charity and we want you to get involved. We want to have a conversation with you so please send us your questions, add your comments, send us ideas, give us advice and support and help us create a centre which we can all be proud of.
This is such an inspiring letter from one of our supporters, we thought it was worth publishing:
Only asking for a fiver
Hey Lucy
I raised Child’s a healthy little sum of £100. Quite amazed actually as I had planned on doing this race for some time now with A. and she was raising money for guide dogs. She kept on going on about her sponsorship and I was all like, I can’t ask people for money so soon after running last years marathon. But then I thought about your charity and realised that I worked with a whole bunch of new people who I didn’t know back then and could happily ask for cash from.Like you, I hate asking for money so I decided to send a blanket email to them all really emphasising the fiver aspect. I told them strictly that they weren’t to sponsor me any more but that I wouldn’t accept anyone telling me they couldn’t afford it, after all it was only a fiver. And what do you know the plan actually came off. The pressure of only being asked to donate a fiver really worked and 16 people from one production coughed up and there’s still 1 person to go!
So really chuffed that I made the effort.
Kevin’s fundraising page on Justgiving: “Only asking for a fiver”
Set up your own Justgiving Fundraising page (it is basically an online sponsorship form and it only takes 5 minutes to set up).
Set up your own fundraising page
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